Passion Burn
by LevelTenTrollDruid
Summary: Two years ago they had a chance to seize the night and make it theirs. Now they stand together again, wanting to make up for what they lost. But something else stands between them, an ever-present being whose name brings no one any aid.


'Sup everyone. I haven't done the fanfiction thing in a long time. Doing it again feels rather nice. It was weird how easily this story just flowed out after years of not writing anything.

But anywho, nice to meet y'all. My name's Royce, here with what I can safely say will be the hardest story for me to write, one of mistakes and forgiveness. I've nothing else I can think of to say, so enjoy.

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><p><strong>PASSION BURN<strong>

**Chapter One**

If on the evening of June 2nd, 2017 you wanted to find the woman most girls called the Mother of Muse and the co-producer of the school idol group's debated album (_Girls' Life_: "A delightful and inspiring record;" _Prism_: "Other than my colicky two-month-old, the worst thing I have ever heard") you would have only had to go to the early summer festival held on Seimei University's campus in northern Tokyo. A graduate of this university, this woman, 23-year-old Nozomi Toujou, had fond memories of the festivals, and there were quite a lot. The students of Seimei were never short of reasons to take shots at the shooting gallery... and take shots at the age 20+ stands. Indeed, after she turned twenty Nozomi frequented these stands, though the last time she had been at a festival, two years ago, she had been sober. That night she...

But Nozomi wouldn't let herself think about that again, in a small circus tent watching the performers. She'd thought about that night way too much in the last two years, never mind tonight. She told herself she had only thought about that night in an attempt to tune out her friends, Nico and Maki.

Maki was saying, "Look, my papa always told me -"

"Your papa doesn't have the brains God gave a gopher!" said Nico.

"And, tell me, what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means he's stupid, isn't that obvious? Beginning to think it runs in the family."

"What about him is stupid?"

"Uh, how 'bout Golden Week last year when he proposed a hospice unit next to a waste landfill?"

Maki turned her eyes upward, her face saying that she agreed with Nico but still wanted to maintain her dad's honor. "Maybe he thought that way people who are already terminal could go faster, and, uh..."

"Oh my God. Maki. Your family runs a _hospital. _How high has you guys' malpractice insurance gone up?!"

"You two sure look like you're having fun," said Nozomi, and Nico turned on her.

"And you sure have weird ideas of what's 'fun.'"

Maki muttered, "Picking a fight with me at the circus better be fun, 'cause if it's not, then it's just plain sad."

Nico started to reply. Nozomi shushed her. Nico and Maki had been together for seven years, not married, but they sure could bicker like they were. They could also love and care like they were, too... and one could suppose they could pork like they were as well. Nozomi was more than a little certain that after the festivities were over and they were home Nico would be using her wisecracks about Maki's family's insurance rates to get her into bed. That was just how they were.

"Hey, look at that!" Nico said, pointing.

It was a performance both she and Nozomi liked: the torch jugglers.

"How do you think they do that without burning themselves?" Nozomi asked.

"I think they have burned themselves," said Nico. "When they were beginners. But they just kept at it. Kinda like scraping your knees while learning to ride a bike."

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><p>The circus ended around 7:30. The sun was just starting to go down and the festival was getting busy. Despite that, Nico and Maki were ready to go home. Maki wanted to work on a lab report for biology.<p>

Nozomi stayed awhile longer. She wasn't sure why

_(nostalgia)_

Well, no. But indeed something

_ (a wish)_

kept her at the early summer festival instead of going home to read.

The summer air smelled nice. Nozomi breathed it in deep as she strolled aimlessly, her hands clasped behind her back. And for the first time in a long time she felt like things could be okay. That wish seemed to free her. She could, as it was memed to death in 2013, let it go.

The cotton candy booth caught her eye and she stopped. Cotton candy – there was something she hadn't had in years. She decided, what the hell, she deserved a treat.

As she handed the vendor the money a voice next to her said, "You see, they call it cotton, yet you can't wear it. What's up with that?"

Nozomi froze. She knew that voice. It was as much at home to her as the whine her shower made when she shut it off.

She looked aside.

Standing beside her, hands at her side and looking right at her, was Eli Ayase.

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><p>In early June, 2015 midterms were drawing near and only the most irresponsible students were taking in the early summer festival. Eli and Nozomi, then sophomores, were not such students, but on the 2nd they figured, what the hell, they deserved a treat.<p>

Eli had been gradually mellowing out over the last month and that night was at her mellowest. She chatted happily and cracked a lot of bad jokes... When they got cotton candy she had said, "You see, they call it cotton, yet you can't wear it. What's up with that?" She would be leaving for Russia after midterms to participate in an ethnography with the head of the Anthropology Department – only a sophomore and Eli was already forging connections and using them to help her career take off – and Nozomi supposed she was feeling super-friendly that night. They both were. The feeling snuggled between them, unacknowledged but very much there.

They went back to Eli's dorm later on (Nozomi's wasn't an option since her room mate, who was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, never left). They sat on her rollaway bed and talked for a bit. Nozomi couldn't recall everything that was said that night, probably things magic and secret which mean little to anybody save college girls. She did remember Eli saying, "You get what you pay for and you own what you get, and sooner or later you have to make sure it doesn't come back to bite you," because that was what she said right before Nozomi kissed her.

Eli didn't seem surprised. She didn't even act it. And, Nozomi would suppose later with an awful sinking feeling, maybe she didn't have time to act surprised, to follow the standard Japanese protocol, "oh, we musn't, now excuse me while I pretend that this good thing never happened and leave you in the mud." Instead, she kissed back. She did a bit more and would have done even more if Honoka hadn't called, saying Nico was drunk on her ass and needed help.

Shortly after Eli left for Russia. She said her bit in the ethnography wouldn't take more than six months.

Nozomi didn't see her for two years.

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><p>"Elicchi...!"<p>

Nozomi had barely raised her voice, yet people nearby had turned their heads. Eli had heard far louder yelling in the streets of St. Petersburg that had turned less heads. _Back in Japan, _she thought, _where a single strand of hair out of place can get you stoned to death._

"Back from the dead," she said with a grin. "At least for now."

Nozomi seized her hands and stood there, fidgeting and overflowing with amazement and happiness. Then she said, "That joke is still really corny, Elicchi." She couldn't think of anything else.

"Yeah, I know."

"How long are you in town for? Where have you been?"

"Something came up in Russia." They started walking together. "And I don't know how long I'll be here. I'll probably stay here."

"Elicchi, that's great!" For Nozomi this night was getting better and better. "Where are you staying? Have you found a job?"

"I have an apartment near Toneri. And, uh, well, I've been hitting those applications and making calls, so..." She frowned and looked away.

"Elicchi," Nozomi said in a low, reprimanding voice. "You blew in with no plan at all, didn't you?" She teasingly poked Eli's cheek and Eli swatted her hand away.

"I just have this feeling things'll work out."

"How out of character for you."

"I've changed, I guess. A lot's happened in the last two years."

"Yeah? Like what?"

It was a common, easy enough question, yet it seemed to make Eli... smaller, somehow. Her face fell flat and she became silent. Walking next to her felt like walking next to a mannequin.

Then Eli wet her lips and looked at Nozomi. "Nozomi, I'm..." Her eyes were big and bright, the eyes of a person who has been hit with something before and prepares themselves lest they should be hit with it again.

She shook her head and the mannequin bracing itself for a blow effect disappeared. "Nothing. Never mind. Where are we headed anyway?"

"My place?"

"Sounds good to me."

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><p>The train to Nozomi's apartment wasn't running due to a small-scale power outage. They could either walk ten blocks and board at Nishiarai and hoof it, or walk two blocks to Eli's apartment. The choice was obvious.<p>

Nozomi walked slightly behind Eli, knowing she'd likely wind up staying the night, knowing what they were going to do, feeling both excited and scared. Nozomi's mental climate bore hot spells of desire and tundric blasts of fear upon its jetstreams. There seemed to be something bigger at work here. The resemblances to that night two years ago were so absolute they were dream-like... and Nozomi worried that he second she acknowledged the dream it would turn into a nightmare and she would wake up in the dark, alone, cold, and terrified.

And so she decided she would let God do His work and relax.

But, oh, how scared she was.

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><p>Eli's apartment was small and sparsely decorated... but the style of décor made it seem bigger. Here was a ceramic crane, which would bring its owner harmony and a long life. Upon a low cupboard next to the TV was a wood carving of a peach, promising protection and longevity. In the southeast corner, a bamboo plant, bringer of good luck. Nozomi knew them all. They brought another wave of nostalgia that pulled her even farther back, back to high school, when she was an amateur tarotician. Where were those cards now anyway? Collecting dust in some drawer? <em>Sorry, dear, I'd tell you what the cards say, but first they need some Claritin. <em>Nozomi swore to herself that she'd dig them out when she got home tomorrow.

Eli watched her look around and said, "So, what do you think?"

"I think you've had a hostile takeover, Elicchi."

Eli laughed. "Yeahhh, this really is more the sort of thing you were into back in high school."

Nozomi looked at her, her face warm. "You remember that?"

"Of course I do. It was one of the best times of my life."

Nozomi giggled and looked down, drawing a circle in the carpet with her foot. "You... sure are laying it on thick..."

Eli shrugged. "Maybe. But it's how I feel in this moment, and it only comes once, so I thought I'd seize it."

"Some moments come twice. Elicchi, if you saw a moment come a second time, would you seize it?"

Eli gave a crooked smile, her eyes holding Nozomi's. "Well, I'd feel a bit greedy, but yeah I guess I would."

"Mind if I seize a moment?" Her face was closer, her voice quieter.

"Sure, go ahead." Part of the last whispered word was lost as Nozomi's lips slid against Eli's in a slow, warm kiss. Eli groaned quietly, pulled her hands out of her pockets, and held Nozomi's soft, considerable waist.

The kissing started slow, safe, cautious. There was still time to reconsider whether or not they wanted to take back that night from two years ago.

The decision was made in one single glance between kisses.

Then the kissing got a bit more aggressive, more urgent, as if they wanted to get this done with before fate or something could come flying in and snatch the moment away. They weren't going to let cell phones or any other outside disturbances stop them tonight.

It was disturbances from the inside that they should have looked out for.

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><p>Nozomi had Eli backed against a wall. Her hands found Eli's jacket and she slid them over her shoulders. Eli helped the jacket off the rest of the way, then pulled her shirt off. She looked up to see Nozomi had undone a few buttons on her shirt and was yanking it off overhead. Then she grabbed Eli and pressed herself against her. Eli cried out in pleasant surprise. Then the kissing resumed. Nozomi's hips rocked slightly against Eli's. Eli's tongue stole inside Nozomi's mouth. Nozomi unpopped the buttons on Eli's jeans, jerked her fly down, and was just about to slide her hand down her underpants when Eli's own hand landed lightly on her wrist.<p>

"Wait," she gasped out.

Nozomi pulled back. "Am I going too fast? I can be more gentle."

"It's not that," and something in her voice startled Nozomi. Eli's chest was heaving and there was a blush in her face, but her eyes were as icy cold as the country her family came from. The struck mannequin eyes.

"Nozomi, I'm HIV-positive."


End file.
